I don’t think anybody’s ever written a song called, “There’s urine on the couch, and the remote control is in the shower. I would write it myself, but I’ve never been very good at writing love ballads.” ~ Jarod Kintz
I composed a song today. All by myself.
It should be noted that this was not my first venture into musical composition. Many years ago I co-wrote a song with my friend RubyAnn. And while some might say it was the delirious stylings of two women who had spent too much time in a church van, it did receive critical acclaim (from our friend Tammy who I think had somewhat low standards and Rubyann's sister Kim) and was performed during the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton (by me in my living room when the dignitaries from Tonga appeared on the TV).
On a side note, when Alex was a baby I used to sing him to sleep with Goodnight My Someone from The Music Man. I do it almost as well as Shirley Jones. He still likes this song and will occasionally ask me to sing it. It's never worked for Mark. He's a bit of a metalhead and prefers We're Not Going to Take It by Twisted Sister. I'm not sure what this says about my children. Or about me either.
The song I wrote today isn't quite as impressive as the ones my friend Kelly wrote while potty training her son but it accomplished what I needed it to. And now, for your enjoyment, I offer these
Sit down on your bottom when you're in the bathtub,
Sit down on your bottom when you're in the bathtub,
Sit down on your bottom when you're in the bathtub.
Don't lick your brother when you're in the bathtub,
Don't lick your brother when you're in the bathtub,
Don't lick your brother when you're in the bathtub.
No splashing Mommy when you're in the bathtub,
No splashing Mommy when you're in the bathtub,
No splashing Mommy when you're in the bathtub.
Don't eat the bubbles when you're in the bathtub,
Don't eat the bubbles when you're in the bathtub,
Don't eat the bubbles when you're in the bathtub.
It probably won't win a Grammy but I'm proud.
(Not my children.)
