my adventures

There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very good indeed, but when she was bad, she was horrid.
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Monday, September 26, 2011

Is that a wildebeast?

“I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.”   ~Anna Quindlen
One of my original ideas when I started this blog was to do regular "What are you reading" posts which would include reviews of the books I was reading and, hopefully, comments from readers about books they recommended.  I was feeling a little bad about this because the only books I've talked about in my blog, so far, have been children's books.  Then I realized that is because the majority of the reading I've been doing lately has been kid's books.  I did recently read 2 books age-appropriate for me which hopefully I'll be able to review soon but, for now, more children's "literature":

Dinosaur Roar! used to be Alex's favorite book.  (He has since moved on to The Cat in the Hat.)  For months we read it every night before bed.


The last page of this book looks like this:



When we got to this page, Alex would point to each dinosaur and asks "What's dat?"  At first I would answer, "It's a dinosaur," "It's a dinosaur," "It's a dinosaur"...but that soon got old (keep in mind we read this book EVERY NIGHT).  So, I started answering like this: "I think it's a cow," "Is that a chicken?" "Maybe it's a horse."  To which Alex would respond every time: "No, dat's not a <<insert appropriate farm animal here>>, dat's a dinosaur."  (It's impressive to me that he can pronounce "dinosaur" but has trouble with "that".) 

Soon, however, the speculation regarding farm animals grew boring to me (again, it was EVERY FREAKING NIGHT).  So I started coming up with more and more obscure animals and intentionally choosing words I knew he would struggle to pronounce: "I think it's a wildebeast," "Is that a platypus?" "Maybe it's a wallabee."  And my sweet boy, every time would answer, "No, dat's not a <<insert obscure, mispronounced animal here>>, dat's a dinosaur."

And so, for your entertainment and mine, I had Jeff film us reading this book.  (God bless my husband for keeping me mostly out of the video.)  Alex is humoring me here because he really wants to watch a show on TV so I zip through most of the book to get to the last page.  For your amusement:

video

Sunday, September 11, 2011

The Wiley Rinonsaskwintz and Quaker Wake

"There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children."   ~Julian Barnes


We took a crazy road trip with two small children.  It started Thursday late afternoon and ended in the very early hours of Saturday morning.  Here's a map of our route:



We drove from home (point 1) to Roseburg (point 2) Thursday evening.  Friday morning we left our hotel, visited Wildlife Safari (point 3), drove around Crater Lake (point 4) and returned home.  It was about a 600 mile trip and fortunately we had the rest of the weekend to recover.  Here's a recap:

Friday morning we met my parents for breakfast in Roseburg and then, with them, went to the Wildlife Safari in Winston, Oregon.  It was far and away the best animal-related venue I've ever been to. 

When I quizzed Alex about the animals we saw, he told me we saw big, stinky cows (yes) and big pigs (no) and a "rinonsaskwintz" (I'm not sure what that is).  Here is a mosaic of what we actually did see:



There were also lions, tigers, rhinoceroses (rhinoceri?), wildebeasts, cheetahs, several different kinds of antelope and many other species that I've forgotten.  Sadly no rinonsaskwintz. 

After leaving Wildlife Safari and saying goodbye to my parents, my husband decided that we should drive to Crater Lake.  According to the map he'd found online this would add about 30 minutes to our total drive.  The map lied.  We did get there eventually though and Crater Lake was amazing.  Alex kept calling it "Quaker Wake".  Jeff, who feels like proper pronunciation is tied with cleanliness in the pursuit of godliness, kept correcting him but it cracked me up and made me think of this:



I didn't see a water skiing Quaker however.  Here's what I did see.  The photos look almost fake but it really is that beautiful:



Please note: Jeff's and my cheesy grins are a result of wondering when the camera was going to stop flashing and take our picture.  It was the 1st time we'd experimented with the delay feature on our camera.

We got home around 12:45am Saturday morning.  My boys were great travelers which is encouraging because I've been thinking about Yellowstone for next summer...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Seriously, MiniMart?

"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."   ~G.K. Chesterton (Alarms and Discursions) 


On Saturday, my friend Nancy and I went garage saling saleing to a bunch of garage sales.  We stopped at a local MiniMart for sustenance and I waited in the car while Nancy ran in.  Here is a recreation (I didn't have my camera) of the homemade sign on the MiniMart window that was directly in front of my car:


There are so many things wrong with this that the Grammatically Correct Tagger doesn't know where to start.  (Nancy did point out that I'm just a virtual tagger which makes me feel like a slightly wimpy superhero - like AquaMan kinda, what real powers did he have anyway? - but I'm not ready to face the possibility of arrest even if what I'm doing is for the good of society.)

After wrestling with all the issues presented by the MiniMart's sign, this is what I came up with:

Friday, September 2, 2011

Scatological Studies


"And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happen to you? It's not your fault. You've held your breath, you just wanna get out, and now you open the door and you have to explain, 'Oh! Listen, there's an odor in there and I didn't do it. It's bad."    ~Ellen DeGeneres (My Point...And I Do Have One)


I googled "why do we call them a pair of pants when they're only 1 item" earlier and found this website which entertained me for about an hour.  The answer to the pants question is here in case you're wondering.

In my studies I learned the following things which, upon final inspection, all fall into the category of bathroom humor.  This was not my intention.  My only explanation is that my recent focus on potty training has somehow warped my subconsious.  I have to get out more.

1. Symbols of the sun and moon were used on outhouse doors in Colonial times (when only a small portion of the population could read) to indicate whether the outhouse was for men or women.  Sun = mens' room.  Moon = womens'.  Because the facilities for the ladies were better maintained, the sun symbol was eventually lost.  This is why outhouse doors traditionally have a half moon carved in the door.

2. Before toilet paper was invented, the following items were used:
   - Corn Cobs
   - Mussel shells
   - the Sears catalog
   - Books of poetry
(Yikes, thank God I'm living now and not then.)

3. Noticeable drops in water pressure, attributed to mass usage of bathrooms across the city, have occurred in New York during the commercials of the following television programs:
   - the last episode of M*A*S*H
   - the Academy Awards
   - the 1st moon walk

4. Though not conclusively proven, it is likely that the "g" in "G-string" stands for "girdle."

5.  It is practically impossible to catch a disease from sitting on a public toilet seat.

Have a great weekend!