Is that a wildebeast?

“I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.”   ~Anna Quindlen

One of my original ideas when I started this blog was to do regular "What are you reading" posts which would include reviews of the books I was reading and, hopefully, comments from readers about books they recommended.  I was feeling a little bad about this because the only books I've talked about in my blog, so far, have been children's books.  Then I realized that is because the majority of the reading I've been doing lately has been kid's books.  I did recently read 2 books age-appropriate for me which hopefully I'll be able to review soon but, for now, more children's "literature":

Dinosaur Roar! used to be Alex's favorite book.  (He has since moved on to The Cat in the Hat.)  For months we read it every night before bed.

The last page of this book looks like this:

When we got to this page, Alex would point to each dinosaur and asks "What's dat?"  At first I would answer, "It's a dinosaur," "It's a dinosaur," "It's a dinosaur"...but that soon got old (keep in mind we read this book EVERY NIGHT).  So, I started answering like this: "I think it's a cow," "Is that a chicken?" "Maybe it's a horse."  To which Alex would respond every time: "No, dat's not a <<insert appropriate farm animal here>>, dat's a dinosaur."  (It's impressive to me that he can pronounce "dinosaur" but has trouble with "that".) 

Soon, however, the speculation regarding farm animals grew boring to me (again, it was EVERY FREAKING NIGHT).  So I started coming up with more and more obscure animals and intentionally choosing words I knew he would struggle to pronounce: "I think it's a wildebeast," "Is that a platypus?" "Maybe it's a wallabee."  And my sweet boy, every time would answer, "No, dat's not a <<insert obscure, mispronounced animal here>>, dat's a dinosaur."

And so, for your entertainment and mine, I had Jeff film us reading this book.  (God bless my husband for keeping me mostly out of the video.)  Alex is humoring me here because he really wants to watch a show on TV so I zip through most of the book to get to the last page.  For your amusement:

The Wiley Rinonsaskwintz and Quaker Wake

"There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children."   ~Julian Barnes

We took a crazy road trip with two small children.  It started Thursday late afternoon and ended in the very early hours of Saturday morning.  Here's a map of our route:

We drove from home (point 1) to Roseburg (point 2) Thursday evening.  Friday morning we left our hotel, visited Wildlife Safari (point 3), drove around Crater Lake (point 4) and returned home.  It was about a 600 mile trip and fortunately we had the rest of the weekend to recover.  Here's a recap:

Friday morning we met my parents for breakfast in Roseburg and then, with them, went to the Wildlife Safari in Winston, Oregon.  It was far and away the best animal-related venue I've ever been to. 

When I quizzed Alex about the animals we saw, he told me we saw big, stinky cows (yes) and big pigs (no) and a "rinonsaskwintz" (I'm not sure what that is).  Here is a mosaic of what we actually did see:

There were also lions, tigers, rhinoceroses (rhinoceri?), wildebeasts, cheetahs, several different kinds of antelope and many other species that I've forgotten.  Sadly no rinonsaskwintz. 

After leaving Wildlife Safari and saying goodbye to my parents, my husband decided that we should drive to Crater Lake.  According to the map he'd found online this would add about 30 minutes to our total drive.  The map lied.  We did get there eventually though and Crater Lake was amazing.  Alex kept calling it "Quaker Wake".  Jeff, who feels like proper pronunciation is tied with cleanliness in the pursuit of godliness, kept correcting him but it cracked me up and made me think of this:

I didn't see a water skiing Quaker however.  Here's what I did see.  The photos look almost fake but it really is that beautiful:

Please note: Jeff's and my cheesy grins are a result of wondering when the camera was going to stop flashing and take our picture.  It was the 1st time we'd experimented with the delay feature on our camera.

We got home around 12:45am Saturday morning.  My boys were great travelers which is encouraging because I've been thinking about Yellowstone for next summer...

Seriously, MiniMart?

"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."   ~G.K. Chesterton (Alarms and Discursions) 

On Saturday, my friend Nancy and I went garage saling saleing to a bunch of garage sales.  We stopped at a local MiniMart for sustenance and I waited in the car while Nancy ran in.  Here is a recreation (I didn't have my camera) of the homemade sign on the MiniMart window that was directly in front of my car:

There are so many things wrong with this that the Grammatically Correct Tagger doesn't know where to start.  (Nancy did point out that I'm just a virtual tagger which makes me feel like a slightly wimpy superhero - like AquaMan kinda, what real powers did he have anyway? - but I'm not ready to face the possibility of arrest even if what I'm doing is for the good of society.)

After wrestling with all the issues presented by the MiniMart's sign, this is what I came up with:

Scatological Studies

"And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happen to you? It's not your fault. You've held your breath, you just wanna get out, and now you open the door and you have to explain, 'Oh! Listen, there's an odor in there and I didn't do it. It's bad."    ~Ellen DeGeneres (My Point...And I Do Have One)

I googled "why do we call them a pair of pants when they're only 1 item" earlier and found this website which entertained me for about an hour.  The answer to the pants question is here in case you're wondering.

In my studies I learned the following things which, upon final inspection, all fall into the category of bathroom humor.  This was not my intention.  My only explanation is that my recent focus on potty training has somehow warped my subconsious.  I have to get out more.

1. Symbols of the sun and moon were used on outhouse doors in Colonial times (when only a small portion of the population could read) to indicate whether the outhouse was for men or women.  Sun = mens' room.  Moon = womens'.  Because the facilities for the ladies were better maintained, the sun symbol was eventually lost.  This is why outhouse doors traditionally have a half moon carved in the door.

2. Before toilet paper was invented, the following items were used:
   - Corn Cobs
   - Mussel shells
   - the Sears catalog
   - Books of poetry
(Yikes, thank God I'm living now and not then.)

3. Noticeable drops in water pressure, attributed to mass usage of bathrooms across the city, have occurred in New York during the commercials of the following television programs:
   - the last episode of M*A*S*H
   - the Academy Awards
   - the 1st moon walk

4. Though not conclusively proven, it is likely that the "g" in "G-string" stands for "girdle."

5.  It is practically impossible to catch a disease from sitting on a public toilet seat.

Have a great weekend!

Erma said it best

A series of quotes from Erma Bombeck that feel relevant to my life:

"Housework can kill you if done right."

"Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy."

"When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911."

"If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it."

"No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick."

"All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. "

"Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it’s unplanned, it's full of suprises."

"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."

"Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. "

"Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood."

Hair, Hooked and Harry

"Everything is funny, if you can laugh at it."   ~Lewis Carroll

I could have blogged about my son's birth - Alex, not Mark, because his birthday was over the weekend and I was thinking about the goodness of God to me.  And I could have blogged about all the apples that my Mom and I sauced and buttered and dried and froze today.  But I'm not because, yet again, I've been distracted by the internet.

So, because I like the sentiment at the end of the video and because I want my own bike if I'm ever to ride off into the sunset:

And because literal videos and the Hoff make me laugh.  (Please throw a fish at me!)

And because sometimes you just feel like dancing.  (Go ahead, try and watch this one and not do a little boogie in your chair.  I dare you.)

Have a great one!

My big boy turns 3!

"Is it my birthday again? Already? Where does the time go?" "Behind us --or in front. It depends on which way you are looking."   ~David Eddings (Belgarath the Sorcerer)

Alex's 3rd birthday was this past weekend.  Here is a collage of pictures of him - going clockwise from the top left: Day 1, 1 Year, 2 Years, 3 Years.

Here's a picture from right after he blew out his candles.  He's saying "More fire!"

And finally, here's a couple pictures of what happened when Daddy left him unsupervised for approx 5 minutes and he found the cake mix I had intended to use for his birthday cake (no judgements, I was pressed for time):